Quick review. According to the Mother Board Handbook, in a nutshell, our needs are water, air,
food, shelter, sleep, medical treatment, physical activity, an honest, loving
relationship with our spouses, and one real friend. Necessary clothing is
important, but nothing dies if you don’t have it. Everything else comes
after.
It may be time to re-arrange your order of importance. A few basic carbohydrates do not a good day
make. If a person cannot sleep
undisturbed because they are being awakened by small children and sharing their
bed with said beasties, that person will not be able to think clearly the next
day. If the house has a leak that goes
unfixed because the credit card limit has been met with a family vacation to
Disneyworld to keep up with the damn Joneses, the safety of the family is
uncertain. If we argue ineffectively with
our husbands, it puts everyone on edge and sits at the forefront of our kids'
minds, blocking their ability to mature.
If a mama gets liposuction, but does not fill her refrigerator with
fresh vegetables, there is no Mama Bubble in place. Needs are needs. They must be filled for the mama to be a healthy example for the kids.
Fill
in the blank or circle one of the following:
Water
1. I
drink about _________ glasses of plain water per day. I think my body needs_______ glasses of water
per day.
2. I
shower AS OFTEN or NOT AS OFTEN as I would like.
Air
3. I DO or
DO NOT take time to breathe deeply when things get
hectic.
4. I
DO or DO NOT get
out of my house into the fresh air.
Food
5. I
eat ________ servings of vegetables and fruit every day. I think my body needs
________
servings of vegetables and fruit every day.
6. I
DO or DO NOT plan balanced, healthy menus for myself and
my family.
Shelter
7. My
home IS or IS NOT safe for me and my family.
Sleep
8. I DO or DO NOT sleep soundly through the night.
Medical Treatment
9. I know my cholesterol, thyroid, and hormone levels
10. I KNOW or DO NOT KNOW the results of my pap smear
11. I HAVE or HAVE NOT had my mammogram in the last twelve months.
12. I AM or AM NOT up to date on my dental checkups
and procedures.
Physical Activity
13. I
exercise ______ hours per week. I think
my body needs ______ hours of exercise per week.
An honest,
loving relationship with my spouse
14. I
spend ______% of my time thinking about the good things about my spouse and ______% on
what I would
like to be different about him.
15. I
told him Thank You ______ times today.
One
Real Friend
16. The
one person I can count on to be honest with me, even if I get mad for a little
while, is
_______________________________________________________
So, are
you content with your answers?
No? Okay, change one thing that would make you
feel content.
Water is the best drink ever. It helps flush the toxins out of your system without adding very many new ones to it--unlike colas or processed energy drinks.
If you are one of the thousands of new
moms with an infant, you are one of thousands of moms with a new infant who
lives with baby urp on the front of her shirt and in her hair.
These days are over in the blink of an eye, so when your baby is ready
for his morning cat nap, put him in his crib (I know, you really like holding
him when he sleeps, but remember, a shower is something that will make you feel
human and benefit the others living with you), and go wash your hair. The monitor works the bathroom, I promise. If you are the proud parent of a clinging two-year-old, it is time to set a boundary. Is there a safe place for your child to watch a Barney DVD for 15 minutes that is within earshot of a shower stall? Put a snack in a kiddo bowl, fill the sippy cup, and turn on the DVD. Put up a gate to the door of the safe place and tell your child that you are going to have your bath. If she screams the entire time, at least you know where she is.
*Keep a bar of
white soap under your bathroom sink to treat the stains on your shirt while you wait for
the water to heat.
To feel content about Water
_________________________________________________________________________
Oxygen helps the brain think more clearly
(Brizendine M.D., The Female Brain
). If you react without breathing, then
your decisions most likely are not going to have the desired effect. Stopping and taking four deep breaths may
feel like eternity, but it will save you in the long run.
Yes,
you can carve out time outside for yourself.
Small steps. “I want to make my
front yard look pretty” is totally doable. Rome was not built in a day, but five
thirty-minute sessions should have you feeling a lot better about your front
flower beds. If you have to have your kiddos with you, haul the port-a-crib outside
and throw some netting over it—babies love watching bugs fly around as long as
they don’t touch or eat them. If they
aren’t babies, you can hand them the weeds to put into the trash bag or give
them the small hand trowel to loosen the dirt.
You are not trying to make your yard perfect for others walking by, you
are trying to take care of yourself. Want fresh squash? Buy a small plant at the nursery and remember to water it--they are incredibly prolific.
Air __________________________________________________________________________
“I get fast food all of the time or we eat
out a lot because I don’t remember to pull the meat out of the freezer” has to
be the one thing I hear the most.
*Set an alarm on your phone or clock radio
in the kitchen every morning to check your menu and take out the meat. Write down the vegetables you need from the store. Simple small steps will make your life
easier. Again, buy a squash plant. If you are feeling really adventurous, buy a tomato plant and a cage--your kids with think that growing food in the backyard is the coolest thing ever.
If one eats only a pop-tart for breakfast, there cannot be great accomplishment at work or school.
Food ________________________________________________________________________
A safe place to sleep is the most
important goal of a shelter. Deadbolts
must work. Gas cannot leak. Furniture and televisions cannot topple over
onto toddlers. Dogs cannot bite. These are some of the things that must be
attended to for you to have peace. If
your request is going to be cosmetic in nature, move on.
Shelter_______________________________________________________________________
You must sleep. Children who wake up and come to your bed in
the middle of the night must be placed back into their own bed. Period.
Now that you are changing their routine, it will take a few nights of
firm boundary setting, but this must be accomplished for you to function.
A snoring husband needs medical
attention. You can try over-the-counter
remedies, but you must be honest with him and say out loud that his snoring
is causing you to not function effectively (i.e. forgetting things he needs).
Sleep________________________________________________________________________
Yes, your health is important to your
entire family and if you neglect yourself now, it will make your older age
miserable. Even the airlines tell you to
put on your own oxygen mask first, before securing your child’s. Small things turn into big things if left
unattended, especially teeth! “I have no
money for that” can be handled with putting fifty dollars into an envelope
every month to cover these checkups or your doctors may have payment plans if
you need to see them immediately. A
small infection can lead to a major infection that can put you into the hospital
which can cause MAJOR financial issues.
Do not be penny-wise and pound-foolish.
Medical Treatment_____________________________________________________________
If you want to write down that a marathon is
your goal, you had better be able to run five miles with no problem right
now otherwise you are about to put up a giant road block.
Set a realistic goal if you are a slug
right this minute. Think Cardiovascular
health. “I want to run two miles three
times a week” is a reachable goal for a slug. Yes,
you feel like a fraud at the beginning, but people who run regularly will cheer you on in their
minds as they see you struggling at the beginning and other slugs will think
you are better than they are for just getting out there. Pick a light post. Slowly run to it. Catch your breath. Pick the next one down the street.
Make your way around your neighborhood for two miles. The next time, your body will remember what
you did and react more favorably, and within six weeks, you will be running the
entire thing and thinking about where to get the money for smaller shorts.
Physical Activity________________________________________________________________
If you spend ninety percent of your time
thinking about the ten percent that is not good in your marriage, you are like most of the wives
in the world. Do you want your husband
thinking the same way about you? When was
the last time you initiated something sexual?
“He doesn’t treat me the way I want to be treated” is only blocking you
from having a better relationship with him.
This one takes additional mental conviction (especially if you work outside the home, too), but see what response you get when you
tell him “Thank you for going to that job and supporting all of this for the
kids and for me.”
An honest, loving relationship with your spouse________________________________________
If you called this person and told her
that you feel like you have fallen off of a cliff into a very dark place, what
would that person say? Is the person you
wrote down capable of attending to the statement, or would she brush it off
with “Oh, you’re okay. Everyone has bad
days. Let’s go shopping.” A real friend would ask “How long have you
felt this way?” and if it is longer than a couple of weeks, she would tell you
it is time to go see your doctor. She
would hand you your phone and stand there while you made the appointment
and then keep your kids when you go. Husbands
and sisters can be the best friends of your life. Do not discount their value.
One real friend____________________________________________________________________
Nothing is perfect and everyone has areas
of their Needs that need attention. Do
not let the overwhelming idea of "perfect" paralyze you into not moving forward at all. Make your list and make time in your day to attend
to the improvements you desire.
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