Babysitter Tips From a Mom of Those Having Been Sat and Those Now Sitting

Having been through it for twenty years, I feel it coming. The kids have been home from school for over a week. Their discarded presents scattered in boxes with the sides caved in from being trampled. New clothes, still with the tags, lie in a pile on the floor of their rooms, unhung. The new movies have all been watched, the candy eaten. They seem to sing "I'm bored" on the hour and off-key. It is just before that wonderful time of year when parents have had their fill and need a night out. If we can just hang on 'til NEW YEAR'S EVE!!

If you have children old enough to babysit, there are a few things to keep in mind when you allow them to accept a job.
Babysitters:
You are there for the primary reason to keep the children safe. Do not check you instagram and twitter every five minutes to see what you are missing. Do not post pictures of the kids you are babysitting, the address of the house, or any of its items within its walls while on duty. Do not invite your friends over or talk to them on the phone (this includes texting) while the children are awake. 
When accepting the job, you need to know:
*the hours you are expected to stay (no one comes home right at midnight)
*how many children you will be watching (most houses have at least one extra friend spending the night)
*if you don't drive, ask if they will pick you up or if you need to find a ride (plan now to get a ride home--you don't want to depend on tipsy parents to get you home safely)
Now you need to set a fee and tell the parents up front.

It is going to be a long night. Plan age-appropriate activities for the kids: bring any old dress-up dresses for girls if they are nine years old or under and music to have a "Dance" (do NOT teach them to twerk); teach them card games; bring refrigerated cookie dough, frosting, and silver sprinkles to decorate them with the kids. Don't lie around and watch movie after movie. This is a special night for them, too.

Make sure you have both of the parents' cell phone numbers and an emergency number for an adult they trust. Write down:
*what allergies the kids have
*specific dinner instructions
*special bed times for each one
*behavioral expectations and consequences

After the kids are asleep, you should always clean up any dishes, pots, and pans you used to feed them, toys, blankets, etc... The last thing parents want to do when they get up in the morning after a long night out is face a messy house.

Now, if you are the parent of kiddos needing a babysitter, keep the following in mind: college kids are broke. This is the one night they really are "giving up" to make money. If she tells you she charge 5.00 per kid per hour, pay it and give her a tip if your house is cleaner than you left it.

If your child hits or your niece bites, warn your sitter! Tell her how to handle any bad behavior--if your kids act that way for you, you can be sure that they will bump it up a notch with a ton of other kids in the house and a young adult in charge.

Do not run off to your party without buying food and expecting the sitter to just find something to feed your kids. If you expect her to feed them a meal, make it and leave specific directions. Ordering pizza? Do it yourself and have it there before she arrives or be certain to leave enough cash to pay for it and the tip.

Call once during the night to make sure that there have not been any major problems.
 
If you tell her that you will be home by 12:30am, don't show up at 2am. Call at 11:30, ask  her if she doesn't mind if you stay out later and then pay her the additional amount with a giant Thank You!

If you have told her that you will be driving her home Never EVER drive if you have been drinking. Period. She is someone's baby who has been loved for twice as long as you have loved your own. Have her call her parents and hand them a bottle of wine for getting out of their warm bed to do your job.

End of lecture. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to us all!

Happy Mother's Day for Us

 Hello! The school year is over for me and I am back working hard to finish The Mama Bubble book. Thank you to all who have emailed your wonderful comments--we have had over 16,500 hits to this blog! In honor of Mother's Day, here is a sample of what will be published very soon!


Years ago, I saw the tail-end of a sitcom that has stayed with me.  I can't remember what it was called, but Diane Cannon played a California fruits-and-nuts mother (I lovingly say this while holding my "Native Californian" card) with two grown daughters. The oldest was married and had a new baby and had hoped that her first Mother's Day would be one of the best days of her life.  Her husband did buy her a card and cut the grass, but it was nothing like the imagined day at the spa, giant bouquet of wildflowers, surprise oil portrait of her with her new baby, or thoughtfully  dinner. Since her husband had fallen asleep watching a baseball game for the rest of the afternoon, they ended up at her mother's beach house for dinner.

     I'm going to paraphrase here:

Later that evening, she bemoans to her mother, "I thought that when I gave birth, became a mother, that it would change our entire lives...spiritually; that we would truly become a family in the deepest sense of the word; that Todd would recognize that enormous change in me and in us."

  (Pause.  Pause.) 

Her mother looks at her as though she is speaking Swahili.

     "Where do you get this crap?" (Clearly, her mother is not the source of these ideas).
 Sigh.

     "I just wanted my first Mother's Day to be memorable," her daughter begins to recognize that her expectations were a bit off.

     "You want memorable?" her mother grins, patting her daughter's knee. "Memorable, I can give you."

Cut to the beach (night shot), outline of the two of them, skipping/running into the surf, laughing hysterically, and completely naked.  What a way to teach your adult kid how to celebrate herself!  What a great gift to give her!

 

    My image of motherhood was nothing like what it became. People talk all day long about the joys of motherhood; that it's the hardest job in the world, that there is nothing more fulfilling, blah, blah, blah.  No one says what that looks like in real terms.  You don't glow. Motherhood is your friend telling you that there is something questionable in you hair and you are relieved to find that it is only peanut butter. It's clenching your jaw so tightly you are certain your front two teeth are going to snap off and cause your gums to recede.  It's having to change your entire outfit on Sunday morning two minutes before you have to leave, because your other shoe is at the bottom of the dress-up box (discovered well into the next season).  It's being so completely covered in God's "blessings" that you miss everything He might be telling you unless some wonderful person points it out to you. 

 

     No one can tell you in advance that the most memorable moments are not those that the modern day poets blather on about in a Hallmark card or are captured in the soft filtered lens of a photographer, but they are in the most trying--the moments that no one sees except you and God.  Moments like when your infant has had a fever all night and you are covered in infant urp and sweat and a part of you is desperate to put her down, shower, and get into you own bed, but...she has finally fallen asleep on your spent breast, the sheen of sweat bathing her forehead as her fever has breaks, and you sit rocking and kissing her damp head, thanking God that she will be well... and quiet. Moments like when your son finds a dead, fuzz and crud covered lollipop in the car and instead of sneaking off to have it himself, brings it to you "because I wuv you."  The gratifying and heartbreaking moment when your baby goes off to first grade without tears, and most devastating; the days when your tears won't stop because she is going through her first days of college without coming home to apples and peanut butter after school...and you know she's doing just fine without them. Because they are our babies, there are times we forget that our job is to grow them to be contributing, confident adults who affect the world in a positive way and those moments are hard on us, not them.

 

    Diane Cannon's character has snapped me into the mother I want to be on a lot occasions, but my friends are my best image of what mothers should be.  Since I don't see a load of us heading into Barton Springs Pool in the middle of the night without making the internet, this is not an invitation to go skinny dipping with me, but I do want to throw some Diane Cannon light on the ideas we have realized: that life is full of rearranging your expectations and laughing it off and knowing who will welcome you, feed you, and tell you like it is--and go skinny dipping! And so, my friends, you who fill in for me, who kick my butt, who tell me that I'm doing fine, who share wine and horror and laughter and love and understanding with me--I wish you the Happiest of Mother's Days in your very own soul, that there are moments in your life that exceed your expectations, and most of all, that when God needs to speak to you, that you can hear.

 

Skiing with Kids

I spent most of the winters of my Southern California childhood coming home from school on Friday to be greeted by the pile of ski equipment, bags of clothing and food, and a whistling father. Ski season began in late January and ended sometime in May and as the daughter of the leader of a local mountain’s ski patrol, my weekends were dedicated to “new powder!” at Kratka Ridge with my dad. Our nine-day Spring Break was spent at Mammoth Mountain. Needless to say, the man knew how to ski with kids/teenagers.

As we gather for Winter Break, I figured now would be a good time to share:

Tom Battenberg’s Skiing with Kids 101

Several weeks before going, have your kids do squats and lunges, especially if they have never skied before. The best way to get them to do these properly is to have them “sit” with their backs against the wall, having just their legs support their weight.

Drink a lot of water the day before you leave for the higher elevations—driving from the lower elevation to the higher is best to avoid altitude sickness, but hydration is the key.  Drink a lot the day you arrive and the day after to avoid nausea and headaches.

Money saver--If you are headed to Colorado, rent skis/boots/poles in Dillon or Silverthorn then take them with you to your resort (they have another location there, but it is considerably more expensive)

Steps to Skiing On Time
The Night Before 
      1. Charge phone and ipod
      2. Bathe and then sleep in your underwear and long underwear (base layer) 
First Morning Stage (go to the bathroom/brush your teeth/put up your hair)
      3. Put on your ski socks and your slippers (so your feet don’t get wet from the kitchen floor)
       4. Put on your performance shirt
       5. Ski Pass around your neck
       6. Put phone, tissues, key to condo, and ipod in pockets of ski parka 
Second Stage: Eat  Breakfast/drink water, then check the weather to see what layers you need for the day
Third Stage: Go to the bathroom again, even if you don’t think you need to go
       7. Sunscreen and chapstick (put them in your ski parka)
       8. Ski pants
       9. Sweater or “Fuzzy”—if needed
       10. Gator around your neck/face masque/headliner—blocks the wind
       11. Ski boots—make sure they are on the “walk” mode or leave the tops unbuckled
       12. Parka—do not zip up inside the condo until the last second, so not to overheat
       13. Helmet (it is the law) and goggles
       14. Mittens (gloves don’t keep your fingers as warm)

Beginning skiers--If they are new at this, they’re gonna whine. It is best to put them in ski school for the first two days… at least.

             As they gain control, get them to a groomed intermediate run (blue) as soon as     
              possible, so they learn to use the momentum the steeper slope offers. Stay away     
              from the bumpy runs, as this adds an extra challenge a new skier does not need.
 

Food to Eat While Skiing

Lots of water—skip the soda and tea, since they are diuretics. The new sports drinks that contain protein are great.

Hand them fruits and veggies while they are waiting for dinner or lunch to be served. Our rule was: nothing else to eat or drink unless you drank six ounces of water and at half an apple/orange/3 celery sticks, etc…Anti-inflammatory foods help sore muscles. Spaghetti is the best thing to feed a starving kiddo since it helps with inflamed muscles and gives them the carbs they need to burn on the mountain.

Do not take off their ski boots during lunch, it is harder to put them back on their feet after an hour of being allowed to swell. Simply unbuckle them unless you are suffering from a blister—put moleskin on that hot spot

After the last run of the day

Sit your kiddo’s bottom just inside the door and pull off his ski boots, bang the snow off of them before bringing indoors (keeps the floor and socks dry)

Give him a big mug of hot chocolate and apple slices and let the stories of the events of the day begin!!

NEVER put your boots near the heater or fireplace to dry—they will melt. Pull the liners out of the boots and ALWAYS bring them inside your condo/hotel at night since there is nothing worse than wet, freezing cold ski boots in the morning

Hang everything up to dry and be ready for the next day in one spot, so you don’t have to spend precious morning time hunting for missing mandatory equipment

As a final bit of info and advice:

*the effects of alcohol are greater at the higher elevations
*mamas need helmets, too (remember Natasha Richardson)
*and most importantly, stop at the top of every run to appreciate the beauty and light of your mountaintop experience.