The Emergency Money Diet

Hello!  Thank you to everyone who has passed this blog along to your friends and family! We had 10,500 hits as of this week! I am amazed and appreciative of the requests, and as I have shared with some of you, I am hard at work putting together a collection to publish before Mother's Day. That said, a very good friend of mine lost her job last week. It is with a heavy heart that I present for her and for anyone else dealing with this crisis:

The Emergency Money Diet

On Friday afternoon you are let go from your job with two weeks’ pay and a heavy urge to find the nearest bar and drink yourself into oblivion. Hangovers actually feel worse now that you are over thirty, so buy a decent bottle of wine and steaks to grill and keep yourself busy until you are ready to tell your spouse.

Are you crazy? I can’t afford wine and steak. You just drove past a bar that serves a 14.00 glass of Pinot Noir. You are not doomed to eat cereal every night for the rest of your life. Everyone should be allowed a bit of time to adjust their thinking to a shock like that. Feel free to crawl into your hole for the evening, even if you spend it playing Candy Crush until 2am.

Tomorrow begins a temporary adjustment to your life. Yes, I said temporary. Most crises such as these do not last forever. It isn't cancer. But. It could last a while, and though you cannot "fix" the situation right away, this is a good way to take hold of it and give yourself some control.

Saturday

Hey, Honey. I have to tell you something hard...

Big breakfast day—make pancakes from scratch, fried eggs, and fruit. Heat the syrup, so it pours easily and the kids don't waste as much. Tell your kids what is going on--only enough that they can handle--you can present it in a way that makes it seem like an adventure. This is going to be rough, but not if everyone understands and is actively part of the team. They, and you, will be stronger as a family on the other end of this.

Do not wallow in the hole and say, "Screw it, I don't want to cook," and figure that you will go out to eat four days this week. Get out your recipe cards for inspiration, make a meal plan for the week, and put together the grocery list right after breakfast. Put one large roasting chicken on your list. I am about to show you how to stretch it into three meals - a "Rubber Chicken."

Shopping Tips
Buy only the necessities: lean hamburger, chicken, pork chops; fresh fruit you know your kids will eat for snacks; sweet and roasting potatoes are a great way to fill up teenage boys--make them mashed and then load the skins with cheese and bacon for their appetizer; largest size bags of frozen veggies (they actually have more nutrients because they are frozen so quickly; cold cuts for breakfast and lunch sandwiches; thin sliced bagels and whole grain bread; avoid the cost of things that are pre-made to save--blueberry muffin mix is less than a dollar--if you throw in two handfuls of real blueberries, they are better than Starbucks. Buy a giant can of diced tomatoes at Costco (2.50) and add it to sautéed onions, mushrooms, a tablespoon of garlic, and oregano for a light but delicious spaghetti sauce--freeze the other three portions and add it to ground hamburger or meatballs.  

Buy family-size boxes of crackers and cookies, not individual packages, and frozen concentrate juice instead of juice boxes - I add twice as much water as is called for to keep them from getting used to such a high level of sweetness - for fourteen 6 oz servings –that's half the price and no individual trash. If you have school-aged kids, get reusable containers to pack individual servings—it is still cheaper than the pre-packaged stuff. 

Skip the movie and shopping or whatever expensive activities you normally do. After your kid's soccer game, skip the fast food and head to the grocery store together - stick to the list, no impulse buys. Teach your kids about price per ounce and making smart choices with money. Spend the rest of the day on improvements - you and your kiddos can fix something in the house, such as changing batteries in the smoke detectors or burned-out light bulbs. Do some easy task in the yard together that you've been avoiding for weeks. I'm not kidding; kids think cleaning the garage is fun. 

Big Saturday night event--Make homemade pizza for dinner with a tossed salad and play a board game instead of streaming a movie for 3.99 -- I highly recommend Wits and Wagers.

 

Sunday—Don't skip Sunday School for the kids—great place for them to socialize and for you to learn a little something, and the coffee is free.

Come home and make lunch together. Early afternoon money-saving task - Go through your phone and see what apps you can cancel. Go through your credit card and see what subscriptions you can cancel. If you have parents or grandparents who clip coupons, send them an email and tell them what is going on and that you could really use their help to be thriftier—they will absolutely LOVE you for this and will send every coupon you request. 
 

It is Rubber Chicken Day One. Big dinner day—roast your large chicken, cook brown rice with 2 bouillon cubes, make gravy from the drippings, and steam a green vegetable. Cut the meat and put it on plates in the kitchen - you can save about two-thirds of the meat for the next two meals. Serve your family meal around 3pm. You still have time to take a walk afterward - exercise will help your mental health. Keep in mind that an adult serving of chicken is about the size of your fist or about 3 oz. We are so used to giant portions in this country that we have lost sight of the idea that we are not trying to fatten 'em up but just keep 'em alive. 

Save every bit of meat from the bones and divide what is left into two containers - one for Tuesday and one for Thursday. Put the bones into some water to simmer with 1/3 onion and some celery. Cool and refrigerate - you now have bone broth, one of the healthiest appetizers ever, but you will be using this for meal #3. 

Monday—Substantial breakfast, middle–size lunch, small dinner (good energy and weight management) is always the plan. If you have put on a few pounds, with this uncertainty in your life, you are likely to lose some of it, but with careful eating and exercise, you can look great for interviews when it is time.

Clean Out and Clean Up
What can you sell on Ebay or the Neighborhood FaceBook page? Go through toys and clothes that your kiddos may have outgrown. If you bundle them into a group and offer them for a reasonable amount, they will probably sell and you don't have to deal with a consignment store. What purses or jackets have you barely used? Collectibles that someone gave you that you don't really want that could bring in cash on eBay?

Little Kids--Take your kiddos for a walk to the park, hike around the neighborhood, and walk to get the mail every day. They love the outing, and it gets you out of the house and moving your body.

Cancel your cleaning service—did you know that vinegar and hot water cut grease? The smell fades when it is dry. Vinegar is also a miracle cure for animal urine.

How much did it cost you to work? Review your expenses—this can be really painful, but if you think of it as temporary, like camping, it can make a huge difference. Check over all of those debit charges that you do for and while working. 

    How much do you really spend on gas, Starbucks, dry cleaning (because you don't have the time to iron), lunches, clothes, hair products and makeup (it is totally freeing to put on sunscreen and chapstick and throw your hair in a ponytail four days a week), eating out because you just don't have the energy to cook, childcare, doctor's office visits for ear infections, individually packaged food and drinks for your kiddo's lunches, manicures, pedicures, massages? It all adds up, and a lot of the time, just cutting this stuff out can get you very close to where you need to be.

Not enough?  Do you have two car payments? If you traded in one of the fabulous cars, could you get one that is "just fine" for half the payment or none at all? What if you sold your teenager's hotrod and shared your Accord? How much is the difference in your insurance? Call the insurance company for a breakdown of what you pay.

Your Budget --yes, you must assign a job to every dollar you have.
My list of necessities (and of Dave Ramsey) is 1. food 2.  lights/gas  3. mortgage--after that, I think 4. gas for the car 5. car insurance 6. 1 phone--everything else is negotiable. Try to keep your credit rating good--a bad credit rating affects your car insurance rates.

If your teenagers constantly buy music or movies, kill the debit card link. Your teenagers need to get babysitting gigs, part-time jobs, or offer to do yard work/wash cars/clean decks for anyone who will pay them. Demand that they save no less than half the money they make.
 

Dinner—hamburgers, homemade fries (thinly sliced potatoes), and steamed mixed veggies

Tuesday--Look at your bills. What electric vampires are you using? Anything not regularly in use needs to be unplugged. What services are you paying for because you did not have the time? Cancel the gym membership - running is free.

What can you sell on Craigslist?
Get into your garage and look at all of the toys and tools gathering dust. Check eBay and FaceBook Marketplace to set prices, but you can get quite a bit of money from bikes, strollers, backyard toys, trampolines, unopened paint, loose wrenches, boxes of nuts, bolts, and screws. If you need to move for a new job, you won't have to be in a panic trying to pack up all of the stuff or pay someone to haul it away for you.
 

Little Kid Project--Have your kiddos "sort" all of your Tupperware stuff by putting the lids on all of the containers. No lid or no container—put it in the Goodwill bag. Emptying your house of clutter will help your brain function more effectively.

Little Kid Job—make the juice. One of your plastic pitchers becomes the official juice container. Put a can of frozen juice concentrate in the pitcher, add twice as much water to the pitcher as is called for (gets them used to things with less sweetness), and mark the level with a permanent marker. Now when it is your child's turn to make the juice, they don't have to measure and spill. They will just put the pitcher in the sink, add the concentrate, add the water to the line, and stir. Voila! They can do something helpful without a sticky mess.

Put a serving of snacks in a little cup or bowl instead of eating out of the box—keeps everyone from ruining their dinner and wasting food.

It's the 2^nd night of the Rubber Chicken—take the second 1/3 of chicken meat and make sour cream chicken green sauce enchiladas (usually the best enchilada sauce is the cheapest one on the shelf), a casserole, or Cream of Chicken spaghetti with a green salad.

Wednesday—Make a job chart and post it—you don't have to buy stickers, just use a pen or colored pencil to keep track of your kiddo's progress. Kid job—gather the trash from all of the trash cans in the house. If you give them a dry cleaners bag with one end tied, kiddos can usually manage emptying little wastepaper cans into it. 

We like to start our job week on Wednesdays so that we get a treat in the middle of the week. Good job approval gets to pick out a new book or puzzle at Half Price Books or Goodwill. 

Find your library and join it. They always have a story time during the week. You can borrow books, audio books, and movies - all paid for by your tax dollars. Your kiddos may even make some new friends who like to read.

Little Kid Project—take pieces of tin foil and make costumes out of it and then read any book on knights or princesses.

Dinner - Pork chops and rice casserole is always a hit. Spray the bottom of your largest casserole dish and pour a cup and a half of rice in the bottom. Lay thin-cut pork chops on top of the rice. Layer onion and tomato on top of the pork chops and pour three cups of chicken broth over the whole thing. Cover and bake for one hour. Steam half a bag of frozen mixed vegetables. Serve with apple sauce. 

Thursday—Start a journal on your computer about your progress for weight, eBay, and household handyman jobs you finish—it does help to see that you are accomplishing things at home over time.

Where can you and your kiddo volunteer? Is there a retirement home nearby that encourages kids to come and bring their artwork?

You are being a homemaker, right?  So, make it what you feel is a home. Throw out/send to Goodwill parts of things that will never be fixed, clothes you never wear, and all the little bits of clutter that remind you that you have not finished them. They do not really matter if they have not been missed for a year.  Clean and organize one drawer in your bedroom in 30 minutes—set your timer and finish that one small job. Again, if you have to move for a new job, it will cost less to haul all of this stuff away or move it.

Make pudding for dessert. Make your own bread instead of buying loaves made with sixteen ingredients you don't recognize. See the recipe in Grandma's Recipes Blog.

Final night of the rubber chicken—Chicken and Dumplings. Heat the broth, then strain out all of the bones, celery, etc...  Add the last 1/3 of chicken to it and dissolve chicken bullion cubes (1 cube/12 oz).  Taste it and add salt if needed. Add some frozen green beans if you want. 

Dumplings: 1 cup flour, 1 tsp salt, just under 1 tsp baking powder, enough milk to make it dough.  Roll out flat on a floured surface and cut into strips. Place the strips on top of the simmering chicken and broth. Cover and cook about 10 min and serve. 

Friday—You made it!  Look at your debit spending this week compared to last week. Tomorrow you plan for the following week, but now you have the momentum. 

Plan to exercise. Most cable companies offer a workout channel that has everything from cardio dance to yoga. You are already paying for this, so use it. 

Special Dinner night—No going out for $175.00. Don't order that 10.00 glass of wine. Get a large rib eye for you and your husband to split (again, no one needs more than 3 oz of red meat at a serving) and a little sirloin for the kiddos. Bake potatoes and steam some veggies. Find a bottle of wine for around 10.99—I'm not kidding, there are a lot of good ones that are fabulous if you let them breathe for an hour.

 

Be Honest with someone you trust.  This stuff is hard and without support, it will be harder. You don't know if you don't ask, but you may have friends who want to join you on your money diet! 

If you haven't already, one of you should join Costco. Buy stuff in bulk and split it (giant pork chops) or store the additional ones for later. If you pay $120.00 (55.00 each) for the executive level, you get a check at the end of the year for 2% of everything you buy—except gas. If two families are using it pretty regularly, then the check usually covers the membership fee, and you can both go to lunch on the balance to celebrate.

Do errands together with the kids. It sounds like hell, but it is actually one of the best tricks. The kids talk to each other while you moms visit and get your errands all done. Make a map for the day to maximize time and save gas. Take turns driving every other week.

So, now the hard part begins. If you are like my friend, her job has evaporated, and there are no positions within 500 miles of her home. It may be time to rethink your career. If you were in marketing, can that be restyled to apply for a sales job? If you were a business person and have your MBA, can you teach business courses at a university? Do consulting for businesses in your area? You don't know if you don't look. Cry really hard, go for a walk or run when you feel like crap, and when you can, embrace this opportunity that has been set before you. It is always darkest before the dawn, but know this, if you look for it, there is light.